“Mineral Rights” is a metaphor for a deep, meaningful conversation. We live in the present moment, but we can’t live anywhere else. 8. The results are usually powerful, and Scott’s workbook exercises will allow readers to have effective, life-changing fierce conversations of their own.”(Siegfried), “As Ken Blanchard notes in his foreword to this book, a course in conversations won't be found in an M.B.A. curriculum. But I like Susan Scott’s summary of the why in her more recent book, her “follow-up” to Fierce Conversations, Fierce Leadership: The conversation is the relationship. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TPg9xDbQQNU. In “Fierce Conversations: Achieving Success at Work and in Life One Conversation at a Time,” author Susan Scott defines fierce as “robust, intense, strong, powerful, passionate, eager, unbridled.” Fierce conversations are meant for both personal and professional situations. It’s a way of knowing, and it should be respected. Author Susan Scott believes that, too often, personal and professional conversations are unproductive, or even … Listening to what others have to say and devoting my full attention to them is most important. Another example of negative reinforcement might be giving someone more responsibility if they do something well, which could then lead to a promotion or raise. Read the world’s #1 book summary of Fierce Conversations by Susan Scott here. Big customers go bust, star employees leave for greener pastures, new technology makes you an anachronism and competition kicks you out of the ring. This is one of the most important points when engaging in fierce conversation. 2. To start a discussion, carefully think about what the problem or issue is. I’ll apply what I’ve learned in this book in my career by: 1. How to handle strong emotions — on both sides of the … When you think of a fierce conversation, think passion, integrity, authenticity, and collaboration. Fierce Conversations: Achieving Success at Work and in Life, One Conversation at a Time (originally published in 2002, and revised in 2017) is a self-help guide about the importance of frank, empathetic communication. Remember: there are no trivial remarks in fierce conversations, so what you say will have an impact on how people think and act even if it seems harmless at first glance. Don’t allow interruptions. Conversations should be held in person whenever possible. They involve bringing those brutally honest and sometimes painful subjects to the surface with your coworkers, your spouse, and especially yourself. Fierce conversations principle 5: Trust your instincts (and be the CEO of you) ‘Don’t just trust your instincts. Relationships will fail unless the other person expresses how they feel or what they’re thinking. Tackle your toughest challenge today ; 5. This helps avoid getting lost in tangents and distractions along the way. Fierce Coaching builds on the ideas, objectives and principles of Fierce … Another technique is personal awareness – recognizing some of the individual’s characteristics (for example, praising his or her competitive spirit). Fierce Conversations Summary and Analysis Buy From Amazon. Key Point 2: Co-workers must establish “ground truth,” which is a realistic assessment of how the business operates and performs. Intuition is not guesswork. Your determination to change the situation. Confront Your Toughest Challenge – Take the time to properly identify the problem or issue at hand. Shortform has the world’s best summaries of 1000+ nonfiction books and articles. In order for us to make conversation real, it may require us to have a conversation with ourselves to determine our own reality or to resolve an inner conflict. Things change and companies must adapt to those changes. You also shouldn’t be too vague or ambiguous with your words. For example, if someone we dearly loved recently passed away. Take a break and make a conscious effort to be straightforward and honest by saying things like “What I just said isn’t quite right; let me see if I can get closer to what I really want to say.”. The second element is interactivity, or encouraging conversations between departments and among coworkers. The sudden loss and emotional shock is carried with us at home, and at work. Leaf Decisions:  Make the decision and act upon it. Fierce Conversations, Inc is a company that works with business and industry CEOs to help them be more effective leaders and build more effective teams. Shortform: The World's Best Book Summaries, Shortform Blog: Free Guides and Excerpts of Books. The curtain is a metaphor for hidden things not fit for public consumption. The idea behind fierce conversations is to come to terms with reality. How did that clash occur and what can be done to fix it? Branch Decisions:  Make the decision and act upon it. The phrase emphasized most here, and throughout the book, is “come out from behind yourself and make the conversation real.”  The idea of this statement is to encourage people to take down any sort of emotional barrier or to challenge an avoided topic that needs to be discussed. Susan stated that there are ten components of the confrontation model, and they are: Name the issue – the problem named is the problem solved. We’ve scoured the Internet for the very best videos on Fierce Conversations, from high-quality videos summaries to interviews or commentary by Susan Scott. The conversation IS the relationship. You shouldn’t do all the talking, and you should ask about the other person’s feelings. Fierce Conversations: Achieving Success at Work & in Life, One Conversation at a Time, Fierce Leadership – A Bold Alternative to the Worst “Best” Practices of Business Today, and on her years of work leading CEO think tanks. The seven principles of conversation are: Be courageous and check the facts. Describe your emotions about the issue – describe the emotions you’re feeling because of the issue and that you are affected by it. Don’t bring up anything from previous conversations, even if it’s related to the current one. Obey your instincts ; 6. We must learn to listen to what others are saying and reflect on what is said, rather than engage our minds in what we will say next or allow our mind to wander while someone else is speaking. To face facts, you need to ask yourself these questions: The first step is to interrogate reality. Pay attention to every conversation you have. Certify one — or several — of your employees to train Fierce Conversations at your company through our Train-the-Trainer experience. Although our instincts are correct sometimes, they are also sometimes wrong. Key Point 6: One must treat the cause of an issue, not its symptoms. Finally, relationships should be strengthened by talking with one another. FIERCE CONVERSATIONS FOR SOCIAL DISTANCING When basic needs are at risk, important conversations get de-prioritized, just when you need them most. Encourage yourself to create a passionate and lasting relationship with someone else, or an employee, by relating to what they have to say. Scott believes that emotion is more important than logic. Fierce conversations do not mean cruel, brutal or angry conversations. I was shockingly mistaken after reading the Preface. Unreal conversations abound today; they’re costly to your relationships because they build up or tear down relationships depending on how truthful you are in those conversations. The caveat is not to just use any old question; the questions should be thoughtful and elicit the right kind of information. Fierce Conversations – The Mineral Rights Conversation (Source: Fierce Conversations – Author: Susan Scott) Process Questions to Get There… Tracking Name the Issue What is the most important thing we need to be talking about today? 7. The third element is inclusion—making sure everyone has a voice in decisions that affect them. One way to get at the bottom of a problem is through root-cause analysis (RCA), which involves asking why until you understand the true source of an issue. Over the years, workshop attendees encouraged Susan Scott, the CEO of the company, to publish a book to spread her message and help more people engage … It may alter the direction of the conversation. It means powerful or intense conversations. Fierce is about getting results, reality, provoking learning, tackling tough challenges, and building relationships through the art and craft of conversation.”. This promotes resolution, rather than the person playing the blame game. If there is a Fierce Conversations SparkNotes, Shmoop guide, or Cliff Notes, you can find a link to each study guide below. It requires that you model the behaviour you desire from others. Instead of being honest, they give the “corporate nod” to agree with what someone else is saying even though they don’t really agree. For me, the conversation gave me a huge dose of self-confidence, a result I hadn't expected beforehand. The real risk is that: I will be known; I will be seen; I will be changed . Fierce Inc. is committed to corporate, individual, and large-scale transformation models through principles of better conversation. Come out from behind yourself into the conversation and make it real ; 3. Instead, include everyone by saying “and”. What’s a Concierge MVP? Identify your most pressing issue – what the most important issue that needs to be resolved is. Although the examples were very helpful, it started to get a little overbearing reading about several examples to express a point. * How you feel about it. Goulston and Ullmen recommend three ways to build mutual understanding. Live in this moment, now, listening to and speaking to this … How Do You Build One? Fierce conversations principle 5: Trust your instincts (and be the CEO of you) ‘Don’t just trust your instincts. * They’re sensitive, so be careful with your words. The first element of the office layout is physical proximity. I'll send you notes on entrepreneurship and summaries of the best books I'm reading. You got to this point one conversation at a time. This is a 6-page professional summary of this book, not the full book itself. Don’t worry about problems that are not immediate. It means powerful or intense conversations. 3. Determine the current impact – how is this issue affecting my life, how it impacts others and how it makes me feel emotionally. Dodging the problem or issue will do nothing but prolong the dilemma and allow the most extreme result to come of it. Key Point 7: A business must articulate its values, and then behave in accordance with those values. However, listening is only half the battle, pay attention to the other person’s body language, tone of voice and level of emotion they speak with as well; we must show interest, concern and the value of what another person is saying to us. Obey your intuition, but don’t force yourself to be logical or objective when you’re trying to understand something that doesn’t make sense logically or objectively. She added a good mixture of serious, in-depth elaboration of a topic and mixed it with a splash of humor throughout. Susan Scott maintains an international consulting practice through her firm, Fierce Conversations Inc., which provides Fierce Conversations, Fierce Leadership, and Fierce Coaching programs to CEOs and company leaders. Weak Teams want agreement. Listening more, and talking less. After 13 years of actively engaging herself in consultation and fierce conversation, Susan decided to write a book to enable others to take part in meaningful, fierce conversation. Success doesn’t happen overnight; it happens gradually, one conversation at a time. The company’s primary passion and animating force is at the center, while everything else—its products and services, as well as how it conducts itself—is on the outside. So, teams get together every quarter to figure out what has changed since their last meeting. Reminding us that "the conversation is the relationship," she counsels us to speak with clarity, conviction, and compassion.”(Barnes & Noble), Both reviews were accurate generalizations of the book and did highlight several important points about it. T his is a book review of Susan Scott’s Fierce Conversations: Achieving Success at Work & in Life, One Conversation at a Time.. Susan concludes this topic by discussing what she learned at an early age and called, The Decision Tree. Everyone should be able to see and talk to each other, which will encourage communication. Susan Scott maintains an international consulting practice through her firm, Fierce Conversations Inc., which provides Fierce Conversations, Fierce Leadership, and Fierce Coaching programs to CEOs and company leaders. It’s easy to avoid difficult conversations in order to keep a relationship going; however, that doesn’t solve the problem and just makes things worse. Subscribe to get summaries of the best books I'm reading. Download it once and read it on your Kindle device, PC, phones or tablets. • A fierce conversation is one in which we come out from behind ourselves into the conversation and make it real. Conversations should be grounded in the truth, because otherwise it’s a waste of breath to talk about things that aren’t true at all. Let Silence Do the Heavy Lifting – Allow silence when having a conversation; the more important the topic, the longer the silence. For fourteen years, she ran think tanks and seminars for business leaders through TEC International, an … Someone once said, “If you’re drilling for water, it’s better to drill a 100-foot well than 100 one-foot wells.” It’s important to get down to the main issue and focus on that topic. However, the structure of Mr. Siegfried’s review was a little dramatized and over-the-top. These words, written by Susan, sank very deeply when I first read them. “A fierce conversation is not about holding forth on your point of view, but about provoking learning by sitting with someone side by side and jointly interrogating reality. Research suggests that in-person requests are more effective than emailed ones. The second thing Susan most emphasized was, “coming out from behind yourself and make the conversation real.”  Her constant emphasis on this phrase developed throughout the book, which eventually highlighted its true importance as it progressed. The Conversation is the Relationship Based on the book Fierce Conversations by Susan Scott Presenter: Joc Clark PhD The Idea of Fierce Fierce conversations do not mean cruel, brutal or angry conversations. (p.7) • Being real is not the risk. Seven Principles of Fierce Conversation Principle 1 – Master the courage to interrogate reality: No plan survives its collision with reality, and reality has a habit of shifting, at work and at home. No one has the absolute truth when it comes to a fierce conversation because both people’s perception of reality is part of the truth. 2 likes. This presentation was created by Shenise Cook, Mary Ratliff and Candies Warren, (first year students in CSU's new TPS Masters program). Fierce Conversations is a way of conducting business. Don’t worry about problems that are not immediate. People’s realities are always changing. The purpose was to collect feedback from real-world users by observing them in person rather than through surveys or focus groups. Susan dwells on the importance of if we really ask someone something; they will really answer in return. Reading this book made me think differently about the topic in these ways: 1. Don’t tell them otherwise. We must encourage ourselves to openly express our thoughts and emotions while speaking with others to give the conversation substance and authenticity. Taking a little more time to properly identify an issue will be less costly and more rewarding in the long run. 2. The most important thing about interrogating reality while engaging in fierce conversation is to avoid laying blame. By listening to what others have to say, we are attempting to understand their interpretation of reality through empathy. Fierce Conversations Principle 2: Three steps to change and coming out from behind the curtain Open the curtain “Pay no attention to what is behind the curtain.” Such can be said about many people and organisations. Susan Scott runs the consulting practice Fierce Conversations Inc. She founded Fierce in 2001 after 10,000 hours of conversations with executives and CEO think tanks. Trunk Decisions:  Make the decisions, but report the decision before acting upon it. The three steps of interrogating reality with another person are: Make a proposal – make it a point to tell the other person that you value the other person’s view and ask them to engage in fierce conversation. Obey your instincts … The first of which was the word “fierce,” which is defined as: robust, intense, strong, powerful, passionate, eager, unbridled. Fierce – meaning robust, intense, strong, powerful, passionate, eager and unbridled. Susan Scott runs the consulting practice Fierce Conversations Inc. She founded Fierce in 2001 after 10,000 hours of conversations with executives and CEO think tanks. Fierce is an attitude. Be courageous and do your research. For fourteen years, she ran think tanks and seminars for business leaders… More about Susan Scott Master the courage to interrogate reality ; 2. Questions are much more effective than answers in provoking learning.”(Scott, 2004). Actively engaging myself in a healthy relationship with my co-workers by exploring fierce conversations and building relationships upon them. Inviting other people to express their reality and then laying blame on them will give the impression that we didn’t really want to consider how things are in their eyes or how they interpreted things; and usually activates our defense mechanisms. The conversation IS the relationship. Key Point 5: Sometimes people avoid the very subject they desperately need to address. * What issues do my conversations avoid at work and at home? Instead, use the term “and” as a transition in this type of situation to show that not only is what we first said true, the next statement is also true. Don’t report the action(s) taken. Overall it was a very well thought out book and I encourage anyone interested to read it as well. Root-cause analysis is limited because many problems have multiple causes. When leaders and employees describe a business, they tend to focus on the outer rings of the circle: strategies, products, and services. Because of the use of technology in our personal and professional lives, we have become significantly removed from having face-to-face conversations. She seems suspicious of technology and how it helps us communicate with each other. Susan emphasized two things throughout the entire book in order to ensure that the message was clear. According to the author, it means “one in which we come out from behind ourselves into the conversations and make it real.” It simply means telling what you really feel and being real. Inquire into your partner’s views – this is the part where listening is most important. There’s nothing wrong with silence; it can help you think about what you want to say instead of just talking for the sake of talking. It is different from theory or speculation because it comes directly from an observation in the field. Most conversations are unreal. Many workplaces prefer email or instant messaging as their main form of communication. Susan compiled a short list of questions to help us come to terms with and interrogate our own reality. Candid or “fierce” conversations are usually avoided under the pretext that fierce conversations take too long – however, Scott points out that anything other than truthful conversations take a lot more time. Strong Teams want the truth. Report the action(s) taken at regular daily, weekly or monthly intervals. Despite these differences, people tend to severely overestimate the effectiveness of email and downplay the power of face-to-face interactions. Even in the most hectic of schedules, people shouldn’t feel like they need to answer an incoming phone call during a meeting. Fierce Conversations: Achieving success in work and in life, one conversation at a time by Susan Scott. In summary, Fierce Conversations is a book we all need in one way or another. Books like Fierce Conversations, Difficult Conversations, Crucial Conversations and more recently, Conversational Intelligence and The Power of … Sign up for a 5-day free trial here. 2. Root Decisions:  Make a joint decision with the input of many people. “Be courageous in your conversations today.”. Even when people recognize a problem, they often focus on the symptoms rather than its cause. Challenge yourself to come out from behind your emotional barrier and speak to others in an equal emotional light and authenticity. Be yourself. She wrote this book to help people be more effective in those types of conversations. Without being a good listener, we cannot properly identify the issue and therefore progress with meaningless talking or blowing of hot air with little, to no, content. You can then use that connection as an opportunity for further discussion about difficult issues and ideas so people can clear up their own confusion about those issues and ideas too. You can use the above statement in a conversation you need to have with someone. Obey them’, Susan Scott states in principle five of her Fierce Conversations book.. Fierce conversations do not mean cruel, brutal or angry conversations. One way to make sure a conversation is a true dialogue instead of an accidental monologue is by asking questions. Don’t procrastinate. It’s also good to resolve any issues that come up during the conversation. Sometimes we make comments that may have caused someone to suffer emotional collapse, and also speak words of inspiration for someone later in life. It’s important for employees to feel like they’re part of the company. In the past, it was common for leaders to be dictatorial and make decisions without consulting others. Today’s leaders should consider themselves to be conduits of information who are there to help their employees succeed. Whenever we say the word ‘but’ everything else we just said before then gets forgotten and thrown out the window.”, Come Out from Behind Yourself into the Conversation and Make It Real, “You cannot have the life you want, make the decisions you want, or be the leader you are capable of being until your actions represent an authentic expression of who you really are, or who you wish to become.”(Scott, 2004). Sometimes people are “made available to industry,” her euphemism for being fired. Be here, prepared to be nowhere else ; 4. 1-Page Summary of Fierce Conversations Principles to Speak by. Scott advocates truthfulness because it is direct, it is effective, it saves time … - Fierce Conversations, page 19 Scott tells us, “you get what you tolerate”, and she pushes us to pursue deeper conversations that draw out the core truths, and address the underlying issues. Susan Scott maintains an international consulting practice through her firm, Fierce Conversations Inc., which provides Fierce Conversations, Fierce Leadership, and Fierce Coaching programs to CEOs and company leaders. The case studies from her consulting practice are very instructive. People often avoid certain subjects because they feel like it’s rude or impolite. Susan quoted Pat Murray directly to support her claim. He also serves as the Director of the Reverse Auction Research Center (http://reverseauctionresearch.blogspot.com/), a hub of research and news in the expanding world of competitive bidding. If one friend starts giving directions from where they are (the food court), that would be absurd because you have to start from where the other person is (on opposite end). Susan Scott is a best-selling author and leadership development architect, who currently runs her own company – Fierce, Inc. The Ten Things Managers Need to Know fromFierce Conversations. Many people hide behind a corporate nod in meetings. Do the hard things right away, and they’ll be easier to do. Solve them as they come up, but don’t dwell on them or you will stress yourself out. Indicate your wish to resolve the issue – be sure to use the term “resolve” when stating this, and support it by restating the issue. Fierce Conversations is a way of conducting business. 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